why no one likes your girlfriend
I don’t do whiny. Really i’m sorry to be the one to tell you, but no one likes your girlfriend. She isn’t nice or fun, she doesn’t smile… she just stands there with a pouting frown saying “I don’t like this” or “I don’t do that” and instantly starts whining. Really if everything isn’t all about her and what she want then things get very whiny very fast. Not only does she not deserve you, but you can do so much better. It’s like you bought a gremlin as your first car, and don’t realize that there’s such a thing as an M3 even though you could afford it. The ride seems great since it’s got wheels and gets you where you need to go… but damn please try out a mustang or hell even a toyota before you make up your mind. Anyway here’s a small list of grievances:
- Even Tom Hanks in You’ve Got Mail made fun of people who collect commerative shot glasses… lucky for you she also has a large teddy bear collection which she promptly installed in your apartment upon moving in. I also see glass unicorns and porcelain cats in your future.
- This alone should be a big warning sign: multiple cats. (they do create a wonderful hair-fur synergy with the teddybears though)
- You brought her water when she was thirsty, when you then asked for some she said “No, you always drink all my water!” and continued to refuse to share. You made a yummy breakfast, complimented her on the great coffee cake she made and suggested she try some warmed up, she snapped some innane response about how she “doesn’t do coffee cake like that, I don’t want any”. Not good signs. The way she speaks to you is a bad sign.
- She’s never gotten over being the only child… I’m constantly amazed at how completely selfish and self-absorbed she is. The world must cater to her desires, if it doesn’t then we get instant bitch. Don’t think you can fix her dude, seriously just run fast and run far, it’s only going to get worse, much worse. Do not have children with her under any circumstances! Two years later you’ll be paying alimony for your kids after she kicks you out of the trailer you rented in the back of someone’s property… calling your lawyer so you can see your kids and still making payments on the car you bought but she is keeping.
- So we’re rolling up to In-and-Out Burger and she starts pouting. “I’m not hungry, I don’t care where we go” she states. Cool, we go in In-and-Out, though she stands there arms crossed, announcing that she wants to go to McDonalds because she doesn’t eat hamburgers. When you offer her a grilled cheese sandwich she snaps “No!” and stomps off, later to return with a hamburger and fries happy meal from McDonalds. lol.
- You’ve lost a ton of weight. How? By eating carefully and working out. It’s sad that she doesn’t support you in this and even tries to undermine your efforts to stay fit. “You’ve played enough lately” is her response to you wanting to go to the gym. You want to eat large at lunch and small later on… but she insists that she needs “large pasta dinners”.
- Bossy McBosses people around has to be in control, and she’s changing you. The other day you said “but some people need to be bossed around”, as if you were channeling the succubus’s words right there. Really she doesn’t get where she fits in social equasions, fighting to be in charge of things she has no business being in charge of.
- Seems to be full of random ailments and sicknesses, and you had better cater to her because of it. Don’t worry, if you forget she’ll quickly remind you that she might be sick of one thing or another at any time, so be sure to stay close at hand.
- The most whiny person I’ve ever met. Life is sooooooooo hard for her and the tone of her voice will make sure that you know it. Seriously life isn’t all roses for anyone, you’re not special, get over yourself.
I tried to like her… but she goes out of her way to piss people off. Ultra high maintenance and doesn’t play well with others. Super whiny… please please please get out now while you can.